


SECHSKIES Reads Thirst Tweets

by johannes_cabal, kamsangi



Category: SECHSKIES (Band)
Genre: Buzzfeed Thirst Tweets, Crack, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Gen, Implied Relationships, Nonsense, Some Humor, Surprise Pairing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 03:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19040338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johannes_cabal/pseuds/johannes_cabal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamsangi/pseuds/kamsangi
Summary: SECHSKIES joins us in the studio for a round of thirsty tweets and learn just how much the internet wants to [redacted] them.Hint: it’s a lot.





	SECHSKIES Reads Thirst Tweets

**Author's Note:**

> from the creators of everything unholy and cursed here u go enjoy
> 
> also thank you to those who submitted your tweets :> y'all are brave souls sldkjsd

**Buzzfeed Celeb  
** _Published on May 31st 2019_

SECHSKIES joins us in the studio for a round of thirsty tweets and learn just how much the internet wants to [redacted] them. Hint: it’s a lot.

Credits: http://buzzfeed.com/bfmp/videos/...

GET MORE BUZZFEED:  
http://buzzfeed.com  
http://buzzfeed.com/buzzfeedsucks  
http://buzzfeed.com/worsethanallkpop  
http://buzzfeed.com/actuallythatsdebatable  
http://buzzfeed.com/videos  
http://buzzfeed.com/subscribetopewdiepie  
http://buzzfeed.com/chefskiss   
  
Category          Entertainment

SHOW LESS

 

* * *

 

“Do you guys even know what tweets are?” Suwon asks dryly, rolling his eyes. “Whoever knows what tweets are, raise your hands.” All of them save for Jaijin raise their hands, who just looks at him like he still can’t believe he got dragged all the way out here.

Sunghoon’s cardboard hand is already raised, so they’ll probably just count that too.

“What’s a tweet?” Jaijin asks. “I only know the sounds birds make.” He adds his impression of a bird squawking for good measure. Somewhere in the back, a staff member winces.

Jiwon snorts. “It’s like Facebook, idiot. You write about how you feel and you post it.”

Jaijin looks unsettled by the idea. “So… everyone can see it? No thanks.”

“Tweets are fun,” Jaeduck says brightly. “I tweet a lot. I mean.” He flushes, the tiniest hint of red visible across his cheeks. “Sometimes.”  
  
Little does Jaeduck know that they’re about to enter a whole new world of tweets. Before they can make any other comments, the producer gestures for the cameras to start rolling. The members stand up a little straighter.

 _Greet the audience first,_ the first placard reads, and Jiwon exchanges glances with the others. “1,2, Hello, we are SECHSKIES!” They bow, and clap enthusiastically.

“Sunghoon couldn’t make it today, so we got a copy of him instead!” Jaeduck says brightly, holding Sunghoon up. “Say hello, Sunghoon!”

Sunghoon’s smile doesn’t change.

“Great!” Jaeduck pets Sunghoon’s cardboard hair. “Ow, ow, paper cut.”

“So, today, you guys are going to be reading some thirst tweets,” the producer explains slowly, allowing the interpreter to do her job.

“What are thirst tweets?” Jiwon asks, raising an eyebrow. The interpreter tries not to laugh as she explains that they’re just very passionate displays of affection on Twitter. Another producer says it’s an understatement, but the guys don’t need to know.

Suwon shakes the little container of papers they’d been handed by the staff. “So, just read them?”

“Yup.”

He holds the container out towards the rest of the group, because there’s no way he’s going first if he can help it, and Jiwon immediately sticks his hand into the box with careless abandon, nearly knocking all the papers out.

Jiwon unfolds the first one, and clears his throat, holding up the side with the translation on it. “Suwon can serve at his restaurant,” he starts, brow furrowed, “but I would gladly serve him anyway any day.”

Suwon looks straight at the camera. “I don’t serve at my restaurant,” he says, “I own it. Next.”

“These are weird already,” Jaeduck mumbles out of the corner of his mouth. The cardboard cut-out under his arm politely doesn’t respond. It’s probably for the best.

Jiwon pulls out another. “Eun Jiwon is my daddy”, he reads in mildly accented English. His eyes widen, and the other members snicker. “I don’t have kids,” he says, sounding strangely contemplative. “Do I _want_ kids?”

“You can be my daddy if you want to,” Jaeduck says.

“I don’t think that’s what it means,” Suwon interrupts. The producers laugh in unison.

Jiwon ignores him. “Does that mean I have to buy you stuff?”

“I think that’s a sugar daddy,” Suwon says.

“You can be my sugar daddy then,” Jaeduck amends. “What do you think, Hoony?”

Sunghoon says nothing. Because he’s a cardboard cut-out.

He’d probably disapprove if he could.

“I agree,” Jiwon says. “Okay, what’s the next one?”

Jaeduck decides to have a go. He pulls a piece out, squinting at the words. “I want Jaeduck to give me butterfly kisses with his mustache.”

Jaijin gags. “Wouldn’t that feel more like a toothbrush?”

 _“I want Jaeduck to give me toothbrush kisses with that caterpillar on his lip,”_ Suwon mocks.

“Hey!” Jaeduck pouts. “I’ll have you know, there are people who really liked that moustache.” He makes a thoughtful noise. “Maybe I should grow it out again…”

“I’ll quit the group if you do,” Suwon immediately says.

“Grow it out! Grow it out!” Jiwon cheers. A minor scuffle ensues.

In the midst of the chaos, Jaeduck hands the container to Jaijin. “You should read one too,” he says. Jaijin snorts, and takes a piece of paper out. “Jaijin can just choke me with those arms and thighs, I am definitely fine with it,” he reads, enunciating each word.

There’s a good two minutes of silence.

“What did you say thirst tweets were again?” Jiwon says, sounding a little pained.

“There’s another one about me!” Jaijin excitedly reads it. “Can Jaijin use his arm like a walnut cracker on my head. Oh, there’s one more. I want to wash my laundry on Jaijin’s abs! Wow! I don’t understand what any of these say, but I like them!”

“I hate when he uses his arm like a walnut cracker on my head,” Jaeduck mutters from the side.

“Clean laundry is always a good thing,” Jiwon says, nodding.

If Sunghoon’s cut-out could scream, it probably would.

Suwon takes the pieces of paper from Jaijin and tosses it behind him. “Next, please,” he says, sounding strained.

“I want Jaeduck to hold my hand and tell me I’m cute,” Jiwon reads.

Jaeduck’s face lights up. “I’ll hold your hand, Jiwon-hyung!”

“It’s not from me!” Jiwon shoots back.

Jaeduck’s face falls. Oh no. “Are you saying you _don’t_ wanna hold my hand?” Jaeduck asks in the saddest voice possible. It’s as if Jiwon’s just kicked a puppy. A very small, very doe-eyed golden retriever puppy. And stolen his favourite toy. And told him he doesn’t wanna hold his hand.

Jiwon’s eye twitches. Then, he holds his hand out.

Jaeduck beams and takes Jiwon’s hand.

“That’s adorable,” Suwon says. “and disgusting. I hate it.”

“Oh, there’s one for Sunghoon. Here,” and Jaijin thrusts the piece of paper under Sunghoon’s nose.

Sunghoon just smiles straight ahead.

“You’re doing great, sweetie,” Suwon says.

Jiwon just sighs. Loudly. “Someone read the damn tweet and stop bullying the piece of cardboard.”

“Ouch, hyung, that’s a mean thing to say about Sunghoon.” Jaeduck kindly takes the piece of paper and pets Sunghoon’s cheek. “Remember when Sunghoon wrote a song about how beautiful his butt was? I felt that.”

“Oh, I feel that too.” Suwon makes a dreamy sound. “I feel that every week. Every time we’re in the same room. I just get right up in there and _feel_ it—”

“Riiiiiight,” Jiwon says, “I’m leaving.”

Jaijin grabs a hold of his sleeve.

Jaeduck picks another one out, and his eyes get a little cross-eyed. “Uh,” he says, holding it out to Jaijin, “maybe you read this one.”

“Oh, it’s about my cat.” Jaijin reads, “Jaijin wanted pussy _sooo_ bad.”

Choked gasps fill the room. Beside him, Suwon lets out a hiccup, and Jaeduck hides his face behind his hands. Jiwon’s bellowing laughter just makes the rest of the staff laugh louder.

Clueless, Jaijin continues. “He only thought about pussy all day. He wanted to shave it, wanted to rub it and wanted to get it wet.” His confused expression turns into one of fondness. “Poor Charls was dirty and needed a bath.”

“That…” Suwon blinks. “That turned out oddly wholesome.”

“That one is my favourite,” Jaijin proclaims. “I don’t get how it’s a thirst tweet though.”

Jiwon leans over and grabs the paper, before crumpling it up and tossing it aside. There’s a decidedly pained _‘Ow!’_ from the next room over.

Jiwon pretends he didn’t hear anything, holding the box back out again for the next person.

There’s only one left in there. Suwon decides he’ll be the one to wrap things up, and pulls out the last piece. He looks at it for a second, before holding the paper further from his face, as if he can’t read.

“Jiwon-hyung's eyes are so charming, I get lost every time I look at them. Oh, it says ‘hyung.’ Is this from a Monokies?”  

“Well, it’s flattering to be complimented,” Jiwon says, matter-of-factly.

“The display name is interesting, though,” Suwon continues. “Tiny squirrel? It reminds me of someone for some reason…”

Three pairs of eyes turn toward Jaeduck, whose face is practically burning.

For some reason, k-drama music starts to play.

( _“You aaaaare my destiny,”_ Sunghoon would have sang, if he was actually here. Sunghoon. Where are you Sunghoon. Come back.)

A producer frantically waves, and the screen quickly fades to black.

 

* * *

 

1670 Comments          SORT BY

 **Buzzfeed Celeb** 1 day ago (pinned)  
Find out what happens next week on Buzzfeed Unsolved lol

[1.5k likes] [dislikes]     REPLY

 

 **helenawvyne** 1 day ago  
lmao did someone die at the end

[563 likes] [dislikes]     REPLY

 

 **jonny h** 1 day ago  
i bet it’s jj. he’s gonna come back as a ghost n crack all their heads like walnuts

[1k likes] [dislikes]     REPLY

 

 **helenawvyne** 1 day ago  
DNSJNDKSNGJNDFNNDJG

[439 likes] [dislikes]     REPLY

**Author's Note:**

> [B1](http://twitter.com/helenawvyne) & [B2](http://twitter.com/KAMSANGl)


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